Farewell

My friend left today. She's off to a better place, I am very glad for her, but as I look at her empty table and bookcase I felt really sad. We barely knew each other in my one semester of masters course with her, but as I came to work here she remembered me when I could barely recall, she guided me in my first few week, and in her I found another true friend. Well I guess I should wish her well, she was just another bright shining star that pass through my long night, and as it goes there were a lot of those but they always pass through to quickly and I am left behind remembering the good times. It is always hard to say goodbye, so I am not goingtto wish her that, I think I will just say Au Revoir.

Ce'st La Vie

There's one thing about my sister being sick or more specifically high that I don't like. I don't mind that she'll have this halucination that she is involve with this satr or another, but what I mind is that she has to pick a man for me too. She will tell me that this so and so is crazy about me. Well I t drives me crazy that my sis thinks that I am so uanable to get someone to love me that even when she is high in her own world she has to remember poor old me and provide me a man.

Well forgive my ranting , I had a horrible visit with my sis on Sunday, on top of a horrible weekend so I am not really right in the head right now. The only bright light in my weekend was my stop to pick up books for this week. I bought a whole lot and I think it'll last the whole of this week. Well I wish things will look up. Well as they Ce'st la vie!

Tears

Last night as I was watching the news, they brought us to Aceh and interviewed this mother who lost 3 out of 4 children. There she was recalling the final moments as her eldest child called out asking for forgiveness before her life was claimed. I couldn't stand it I cried like a baby, even recalling it now tears are falling down my face. I have been known to cry non-stop after watching a sad movie, whereas this wasn't a scripted tv show, this was real. Suffice to say my pillow weren't dry as I went to sleep last night.

I have no child, but I did raise my little brother and I can tell you if anything happen to him I would lose my whole world. So I could imagined how the poor mother is feeling, I think parents everywhere agree that by right they should not outlive their children. Well I don't think I can go on anymore, I am too emotional. Just hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Books and I

I have been reading a lot of books lately. There's this place selling second hand book at affordable prices. So whenever I feel the need I'd splurged on a book ( I say splurge because my usual place rent out second hand book, it is cheaper and I am able to resell it). Well there is also a colleague who's a voracious reader so sometime I borrow a book from her.

Well I borrowed "A Walk to Remember" and had myself a nice cry. It just made me longed for what I don't have at this moment; someone who love me. Well I don't know why I torture myself by reading all this romantic sappy things. It just reminds me that I am unloved. Well not that my family does not love me, they do! But once in awhile I want that someone who hold me not to be related to me.

Well I try to offset my romance reading material with a spy intrigue or a mystery now and then, but still I will gravitate to romance because it sort of feel a need that is not fulfilled any other way. Well someday....

A New Year Begins

Happy new year! Well this is day two of 2005 and my life is still the same. Every year my resolution is to have a better year than the last, and that I wish that everyone will be fine and I don't have to deal with their highs and lows, but this year starts with my sister roaming and waking everybody up. I am so sleepy now I don't know how I function.

Well my dad reminded me that others are suffering more than we are, he reminded me of the recent Tsunami tragedy victims, how they are far worse off than us. Yes I admit my problem is not that big and in the scale of things it is actually a small ripple in life's tapestry, but when youi have been sleepless for 3-4 days you kind of forget that and everything seems so insurmountable and impossible. Well I just hope that this year will get better and I hope that I will get what I have been dreaming and wishing for so long.