Sleepless night

My sis nearly drove me up the wall last night. My dad told me already that she was high ( she's bipolar affective disorder) , she was asleep but as I was getting ready to sleep she awaken. From that moment on she drove me mad by pacing back and forth and constantly turning up the lights and muttering under her breath. I scolded so many times but still she won't settle down. So the whole night I ended catnapping whenever she was calmly sleeping or goes for her endless bath. It wasn't agoo day to be sleepy for me, I had to invigilate in the morning. God this is the time that I wish I live alone.

Well I hope she get well soon coz I don't think I have the energy to make the long commute to work everyday with home life not being settle. I hope to go Mom's not next ( my mom has schizophrenia). Sometime I think God like to test my will to the max. I hope He does not find me wanting and I hope I will have the strength enough to get through this trial.

Peace

I was reading a story in Readers' Digest, it was about how this Polish Christian girl helped rescue Jews when the punishment was death if you do so In Nazi conquered Poland. I was awed by her courage and it occurs to me even though human are capable of great harm they are also capable of doing good especially amidst terrible danger.

This and other incidents that I have read about restore my faith in human kind especially after daily news of violence some are capable of. I wish that we all could learn to use the time we have been given by God to do good and bring joy to the people around us. History has many lesson to teach us but why is it the world has too many recalcitrant students.

Well tomorrow is Christmas and then the new year, my wish for next year is for all those recalcitrant students to stop and learn from history and stop repeating the same mistake. too many innocents have suffered from your ignorance.

Aching Feet

I bought new shoes because the U where I am working is having its first convocation. I tried on so many shoes, I despaired of ever finding the perfect one. At last I go back to my faithful Bata shop and found the perfect pair. I wore them yesterday, trying to break it in. I remembered the plaster but it kept getting stuck to the shoes so I took it off. By noon my feet hurt, not only blister starting to form, but since it has been three years since I wore heels , the balls of my feet have swollen, so I gave up and changed back to a sandal, but the damage has been done, my feet hurt like hell. When I got back I had my sis and mom massage it, I put it in warm salted water, and when I slept I put it up on a pillow (someone told me it help if your feet ache by letting the blood flow or something like that). But I guess it was too much because this morning when I woke up it still hurt when I walk. Well I guess this aching feet of mine have stopped me being creative toiday so that is why I am telling you about it instead of my latest poem or inspiration.

Be Still My Heart

Be still my heart,
There's nothing that I can do.
You yearn,
I know!
But what can I do.

Be still my heart,
Patience is a virtue.
You need,
I know!
But it won't come on cue.

Be still my heart,
Love will come when it comes,
You wane waiting for love,
Of course I know,
I'm the one feeling it, No?

Inspiration

I was listening to a song on my way to work, listening to the poignant lyric gave me an inspiration to write a story. I don't know whether it will be short story or a novel length, but I am very happy that my brain is working again. So now I have two kernel of ideas to work on. I have been churning poems after poems but as usual I churn it onthe spot, publish it somwhere online and forget about it. I should collect all my works one of these days.

This second story needs a lot of research as oppose to the first one which could come all from my imagination. Since I have it set somewhere in America, I have to find out about their policy on immigrants, foreign students working part time, that sorts of stuff. I also have to find out certain things about Malaysian law on unmarried mothers. Well this is going to be fun. I hope one of this idea will develop into a book.

Hello

I was just reading a blog by a colleague of mine. The site look interesting so I was tempted to create a blog here. It was not long ago that I was persuaded by my sister to blog. I was a reluctant blogger but now my first log site has been regularly updated. But since my sis insisted there she can freely read what I posted, I need another place where I could freely express myself.

Not long ago, I had a huge writer's bloc. I coudn't write anything especially poetry which used to be my salvation from this crazy life of mine. A few weeks ago I had an inkling of a story with a nice plot, characters popping up introducing tyhemselves in my head. The sad thing is at the same time I started a new job, so I haven't had time to write anything, though my laptop is faithfully with me everywhere I go, but so far nada.

Well like my other blog this one is where I will hash out my thoughts to sort my mind out so it will be clear for me to create my masterpiece. The advantage is my sis won'[t know 'bout this one so I could safely say what I need to say.